


Cool Joe Origin Momence Ft. Randy Radman

by CardboardCryptid



Category: Henry Stickmin Series (Video Games)
Genre: Henry Stickmin - Freeform, add cool joe to the characters list please, cool joe, mr cool, randy radman - Freeform, right hand warden, the airship - Freeform, the wall - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardboardCryptid/pseuds/CardboardCryptid
Summary: uhh i'm writing for right hand warden (au) and my hand slipped
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Cool Joe Origin Momence Ft. Randy Radman

Adrenaline ran through Joseph’s body.

Three days.

Three hellish days he had been in that complex.

How he even made it out was beyond him. Maybe he just got lucky. Maybe someone or something took pity on him. It didn’t matter.

Somehow, he’d managed to snag some pocket change from a passerby without a weapon- the top hat had intimidated them already, to his advantage, and he desperately hacked away at a payphone.

“Toppat leader here, what’s up man?”   
  
Oh god he was never more relieved to hear his leader’s voice before.

“Randy? It’s- one of your new recruits. Joe- Joseph?”   
  
“Yo holy shit, where’ve you been, buddy?”

As much as he didn’t want to answer, he didn’t want to risk going back even more, and wasted time increased his chances of just that.

“The- The Wall. I botched up a raid, and I-”   
  
“Hey, hey, calm down. Where are you now?”

Oh. Okay!   
  


“I, um… I don’t know, but it’s some gas station-”   
  
“Name, buddy. You’re gonna be alright.”

Somehow, the two got it all sorted out.

A bright red drop pod arrived with a boom that brought back… unideal memories for him.

The group of people ushering him into a closed space did the same.

Luckily, they seemed to understand that he was shaken up, and tried to give him his space in silence, but… that didn’t help. They didn’t know what those days were like. They didn’t know that he felt like he had to conserve his breath. They didn’t know that he could hardly fucking see any of their faces, that the only reason he could manage the payphone is because he knew where the numbers were-

_ There was a hand on his shoulder. _

He practically flung himself away from the presence, damn near about to lose it then and there.

Jesus fuck, it was just three days! Three days had done  _ this _ to him?!

Okay, okay. They were backing off.

The rest of the time was for small comforts.

These people respected him.

In this cell- pod. In this pod, he could see.

Yeah.  _ Some _ standards he’d gotten over this short time.

...he missed that short guy. What was his name?

Then, the doors opened, and Joseph’s body thrust itself out before he could even process what had happened.

...floor. Cold floor. Cold, metal floor.

The other Toppats shuffled out carefully around him, not sure how to respond to this. Should they help him out, or just let him stay there?

Eventually, one bit the bullet and approached the twinkish frame, coughing to get his attention.

Joseph couldn’t make out their face. He… thought that was a hand? 

Well, he’d gotten his minute to calm down. More than he was used to. So he accepted.

Once everybody was sure that he could walk- a reasonable concern, after the man just collapsed onto the floor like that- they let him be. Nobody knew what the Wall was like, but they’d had their fair share of Toppats escaping prisons to give them a frame of reference.

Joseph decided to keep the part where he was partially blind to himself.

Which made his trek to Randy’s office all the more difficult. Not to mention the heart attack he got whenever he hit a random object.

But he made it, somehow.

His hand brushed over the first desk he stumbled into, knocking over things he couldn’t even make out before he found something dark. Okay, okay- yes, it folded-

A perfect fit!

And a perfect time for a familiar voice to resonate behind him.

“Oh hey! The new guy, right?”

Joseph felt his body stiffen up. He hadn’t even considered how his leader would feel about him just. Snatching a pair of shades from his office. What if he-

He turned around, and the smaller man’s grin widened.

“Hey, nice getup! Taking after yours truly, huh?”   
  
“Oh no- yes- um-” Joseph stumbled over his words. He hadn’t expected anything less than to be thrown overboard, in all honesty.

“What’s your name, buddy?”

Randy strode over with a swagger Joseph could only dream to achieve and queried the lesser crewmate.

“Joe- Joseph, sir!”

Randy’s face scrunched up in what Joseph assumed was disgust, or disapproval-

“With  _ that _ look? C’mon man, you’ve got so much potential!”

Joseph was at a loss for words. What else would- or could- he be?

Randy let out a hearty laugh as Joseph was rendered dumbfounded. Suddenly, he was up close, pressing the taller man’s cheeks together. He was clearly deep in thought...

“Let’s see…”

Suddenly, his voice boomed:

“Cool Joe!!!”

Joseph’s eyes widened, hidden behind his new pair of shades.

“You’re Cool Joe now.”

Joseph faltered.

“Cool… Joe?” he echoed.

And then he was jabbed.

“C’mon, say it with more spunk!”

Oh! Okay, he could do that!   
  
“Cool Joe!”

“Louder!”   
  
“ _ Cool Joe! _ ”

“Give it more  _ oomph _ !”

“ _ COOL JOE! _ ”

“That’s the spirit, my dude!”

Oh thank god, he felt like his lungs were about to give way.

And for a few reasons, too.

Randy backed off, reaching into a desk for… something.

Joseph- Cool Joe? ...he, was more confused than panicked. Why was the leader giving a guy like him this kind of attention?

_ Snap. _

His eyes drifted to a thick, glowing stick full of the forbidden juices.

“Alrighty, crewmate, on your knee.”

Uh. “Sir-”

“No no, work with me. This is gonna be great.”

Okay, sure.

Randy once more approached the man, tapping the glowstick against his shoulders.

“By the powers vested in me as a partygoer and overall rad dude, I hereby dub thee ‘Cool Joe’! Wear the name with pride, my dude.”

Joseph stared up at his leader, blinking as he registered what he had just done.

...alright. He could live with this.

He was Cool Joe now.


End file.
